Dear Reader..
If I created titles for the last 9 months they would've been:
Oct. Tuscany Babes have Corona! Lol. -
Nov. The Fruit of Thanksgiving
.Dec. Christmas Break- HEY WISCONSIN
Jan. Return to Cali- Heart Changes
Feb. Everything is Opening, Everything Is New
Mar Beginning of Alive and Free
April Adventures and Journey
May Graduation and Goodbyes
June Hello Wisconsin
I didn't write much during those months as I normally do, and below I think you'll see why.
4th Year of BSSM has been wonderfully terrible but incredible. I learned a lot, grew a lot.. died a little and lived a little.
It is certainly hard to create an accurate summation when every month and week carries the weight of an entire year. I have lived in Redding for 3 years, this being the 4th, I felt like I was diving into the deep- however everything was in a stand still or felt.. paused. Life had become virtual, we became inmates of our own house, and eventually got sick.
Personally, with new and old relationships I was dying. I had fallen into patterns and habits that were destructive, and with all the various restrictions I lost my center. Jesus shall always be the center. But for a hot minute he wasn't, instead- idols swooped in and tried to win my affection and attention and they won. I was a slave to pride and lust and selfish ambition. Of course, on the outside everything seems beautiful, but it's only a matter of time that what is within reveals itself.
Oct. Tuscany Babes have Corona! Lol. -
Nov. The Fruit of Thanksgiving
.Dec. Christmas Break- HEY WISCONSIN
Jan. Return to Cali- Heart Changes
Feb. Everything is Opening, Everything Is New
Mar Beginning of Alive and Free
April Adventures and Journey
May Graduation and Goodbyes
June Hello Wisconsin
I didn't write much during those months as I normally do, and below I think you'll see why.
4th Year of BSSM has been wonderfully terrible but incredible. I learned a lot, grew a lot.. died a little and lived a little.
It is certainly hard to create an accurate summation when every month and week carries the weight of an entire year. I have lived in Redding for 3 years, this being the 4th, I felt like I was diving into the deep- however everything was in a stand still or felt.. paused. Life had become virtual, we became inmates of our own house, and eventually got sick.
Personally, with new and old relationships I was dying. I had fallen into patterns and habits that were destructive, and with all the various restrictions I lost my center. Jesus shall always be the center. But for a hot minute he wasn't, instead- idols swooped in and tried to win my affection and attention and they won. I was a slave to pride and lust and selfish ambition. Of course, on the outside everything seems beautiful, but it's only a matter of time that what is within reveals itself.
That's what this period of time did for all of us, it exposed what was hidden, and revealed truth. Sometimes we call things truth, but are really lying about the true nature and state of things, such as our hearts and minds.
I didn't consciously know that pride was eating me alive until it showed its ugly head and tried to divide our team.
And that's where grace comes in. We all fight against the ugliness that tries to tell our story, and fall to our knees and cry out to God because we realize we are unworthy.
Then he came to me, and redeemed me, and reminded me of all the promises he's made over my life that still stand. That in my unfaithfulness he remains faithful.
That "come to Jesus" moment was in January and I felt absolutely alive again. I died and came to life, because he did. I held onto that truth as hard as I could.
Then another hard season kind of blew me under water and I realized my footing still wasn't solid, my identity tempted to be tainted, and that my heart was actually bleeding from multiple stings.
I started taking an Ecourse called "Alive and Free" and began a journey in March to awaken my heart, let it speak, and learn how to walk through healing with God. I have gotten so many breakthroughs since then about my view of myself, my relationship with men/brothers/ etc. and breaking off all the lies of performance. Having true brothers and sisters in this time was instrumental to change and healing. Being able to be so broken yet so held, is one of the most beautiful experiences in our lifetime.
I served with my team and Theresa, finally free to meet and gather, go to minister, and we saw lives be healed, touched and saved. I love painting with Papa God and giving them away to people and seeing them moved to tears by what He has to say to them. Or watching them physically get healed just through a dance or song, there is nothing that God can't do. Even if I don't understand. He's just so good. And if he created us in his image (the CREATOR), then it only makes sense that he shows up through us in the most creative ways ever.
And that concluded my year... of course not including all the birthday parties, me actually getting sick, the millions of hikes we did, road trips, late night chats and adventures.... but it brought me to graduation. Graduating a season of being in the BSSM environment for 4 years, undone by the goodness of God and his closeness. He is my reality.
And leaving my best friends was one of the hardest things yet I've done...my Tuscany Babes, and Catch Guys :) Leaving my all time bestie, BFFL, and roommate for 4 years Breah... we all sobbed.
But I have a peace that surpasses understanding that God is going to move in Wisconsin and I'm called to be a part of it. The years of dreaming of the mission field are at hand and better than I could imagine. There is a creative movement coming on the earth where God will come and is here now.
I'm SO EXCITED. It's been really hard, not gonna lie, but I have great friends in Wisconsin too who have blessed me during this transition.
Updates to come on what the future may hold... But for now... I'm so thankful for the Lord's kindness, his faithfulness.. teaching me submission, that his promises are forever... and that nothing is impossible with God because Jesus' blood paid for everything.
I'd love to share more detailed testimonies soon, but thank you for reading my 9 month recap. God is good.
Marianna Glatzel
I didn't consciously know that pride was eating me alive until it showed its ugly head and tried to divide our team.
And that's where grace comes in. We all fight against the ugliness that tries to tell our story, and fall to our knees and cry out to God because we realize we are unworthy.
Then he came to me, and redeemed me, and reminded me of all the promises he's made over my life that still stand. That in my unfaithfulness he remains faithful.
That "come to Jesus" moment was in January and I felt absolutely alive again. I died and came to life, because he did. I held onto that truth as hard as I could.
Then another hard season kind of blew me under water and I realized my footing still wasn't solid, my identity tempted to be tainted, and that my heart was actually bleeding from multiple stings.
I started taking an Ecourse called "Alive and Free" and began a journey in March to awaken my heart, let it speak, and learn how to walk through healing with God. I have gotten so many breakthroughs since then about my view of myself, my relationship with men/brothers/ etc. and breaking off all the lies of performance. Having true brothers and sisters in this time was instrumental to change and healing. Being able to be so broken yet so held, is one of the most beautiful experiences in our lifetime.
I served with my team and Theresa, finally free to meet and gather, go to minister, and we saw lives be healed, touched and saved. I love painting with Papa God and giving them away to people and seeing them moved to tears by what He has to say to them. Or watching them physically get healed just through a dance or song, there is nothing that God can't do. Even if I don't understand. He's just so good. And if he created us in his image (the CREATOR), then it only makes sense that he shows up through us in the most creative ways ever.
And that concluded my year... of course not including all the birthday parties, me actually getting sick, the millions of hikes we did, road trips, late night chats and adventures.... but it brought me to graduation. Graduating a season of being in the BSSM environment for 4 years, undone by the goodness of God and his closeness. He is my reality.
And leaving my best friends was one of the hardest things yet I've done...my Tuscany Babes, and Catch Guys :) Leaving my all time bestie, BFFL, and roommate for 4 years Breah... we all sobbed.
But I have a peace that surpasses understanding that God is going to move in Wisconsin and I'm called to be a part of it. The years of dreaming of the mission field are at hand and better than I could imagine. There is a creative movement coming on the earth where God will come and is here now.
I'm SO EXCITED. It's been really hard, not gonna lie, but I have great friends in Wisconsin too who have blessed me during this transition.
Updates to come on what the future may hold... But for now... I'm so thankful for the Lord's kindness, his faithfulness.. teaching me submission, that his promises are forever... and that nothing is impossible with God because Jesus' blood paid for everything.
I'd love to share more detailed testimonies soon, but thank you for reading my 9 month recap. God is good.
Marianna Glatzel
