Along with 2016, it has been awful, terrible, and also beautiful, extraordinary, breathtaking, and full of wonder. 2017 is the year of turning an adult, 18, with everything that involves. The year started with learning to forgive myself every day until I believed it. Of getting past my failures and mistakes, and letting go even though it caused harm to those around me. We can't change the past, but we continue to grow and learn from our choices and accept the next challenge to live intentionally. To work through pain, to process, but also learn to rejoice, dance, cry, and be thankful.
In 2017, I worked hard and pushed myself in self discipline, was healthy physically and worked on getting healthy emotionally. I worked at finding my passions and played with kids while shadowing 3rd grade at Heyer. I worked at Swimtastic and taught kids to swim! I climbed trees, no longer to hide, but to reach greater heights. God redeemed what had been tarnished and mended what had been broken. The days I battled till my knuckles bled, he slowed me down and tilted my chin up towards the sun, so I no longer fought recklessly in the darkness.
Then I felt an era of blossoming.
I got to end the school year with my senior art show, speaking at graduation and hopefully leaving my last imprint on the people I had studied with for 4 years. I traveled to Michigan and Minnesota- spending much needed time with family. Greenlake I started learning my place as a young adult, intimate walks with Jesus and beautiful sights of sunrises and meadows. Then weekend hikes to increase strength and endurance, getting out of my comfort zone and meeting incredible people till I spent 10 days with them on the Xtreme trip, which left me humbled, in awe, inspired and just mystified by nature, God's joy and strength when I have none, and deep fellowship. Also intense mountain climbing and cliff jumping. Dakotas, Montana, and Canada. And what it means to be truly weak, but also strong with Christ.
Then to leave what I've called home and move and start to "adult". Which truly means taking on the responsibility of making sure you're living interdependently. We need people, but you also need to know what you need to get those needs met, and learning how to say no to yourself. Which is what I've been practicing, and finding what my bigger Yes' are!
Such as being healthy, fit, intentional, focus on living all in for Papa, loving others and placing them in high importance, living powerfully and boldly-- all of which I am still focusing on and bring into 2018.
The rest of the 2017 year is moving to Bethel, meeting roommates and accepting them as family and my sisters. Learning to manage time, and pour out all I have on my savior, and learning that his unconditional love is something difficult to understand but something to pursue in understanding and revelation. Mountain climbing, grocery adventuring, rattlesnakes, traditions, high ropes course, dancing and drama classes! Having an amazing revival group as more family and continue to reaffirm truths in my spirit about who I am and my identity- especially by breaking off lies. Such truths as being a child of God, that he wants me in his presence, I deserve a good husband and good friends, I don't have to work for love- God and others love me for who I am. I am AMAZING, He is even more amazing, but I was made in his image!
Then coming back home and realizing that Papa is the same, wherever we are and we can live powerfully wherever we are. Also I just love my family so dearly, they are so kind and so admirable and lovely. Christmas and New Years were amazing and I'm beyond excited for the adventures, decisions, and challenges that will perfect and stretch my faith. Heck, I also cut off 22inches of hair- talk about decisions!
God you are so good, show us your beauty God. We want more of you at any cost!!
Thank you Papa for all the beautiful friends, family, and people around me and for a splendid and blessed 2018 for everyone.
Can't wait for Alaska in April, and to see how summer plans and fall plans develop. But I'm so thankful for today and right now.
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND THANK YOU!!
His beloved,
Marianna
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