IN CONTRAST, so far (two months in)Second year has had the beautiful focus of laying everything down for Jesus. Second Year's focus is Leadership through Servanthood. Thus, our worship times, prayer meetings, serving opportunities, and just everything we do is covered with the focus of Jesus and servant love- which is absolutely beautiful.
Less introspection, doubt and "stuff". (I of course still miss home, but being on my own is a lot less overwhelming the second time around). I'm honored to be in such a place where we fall more in love with Jesus every day. A deep hunger and stirring has been in all of our spirits to have fun with our Papa God and give Him our biggest YES! Sometimes that means praying even though class has ended, or worshiping on the ground, with hands raised, going out and telling people the gospel-because people need to know Him, and listening to his voice and going wherever he leads, and He is worthy of our everything.
That being said, I've already grown so much. Learning to lay it all down, be His beloved, and let His eyes look into the depths of my heart as He calls me to lean in, to enjoy the beauty all around me, sometimes to have fun, sometimes to sit, to dance, and sometimes my heart is so heavy and I just pray with Him. He is so altogether lovely.
Real talk, so October has been crazy. I did a 40 Day Only Water Fast from Sept. 5th- Oct. 15th. I limited my exercise, but worked, went to school, and drank as much water as I could. Coming off of the fast was semi difficult, but I had so many precious prayer partners, and my housemates all encouraged me and truly were fantastic supporters. I have to trust God with my body entirely in so many different ways and really let Him discipline me, but also be reminded of His faithfulness when I was discouraged or confused, or even was afraid of the unknown. Throughout the fast I had absolutely supernatural strength and energy. There was so much grace surrounding me and he was and is so near. Logistically, I drank ONLY water. A few times I had a frozen grape (spat out the skin), lemon or cucumber water, and tea closer to the last 10 days as solutions to nausea or feeling close to fainting. I lost a total of 30lbs, which is nuts. Still not gaining because I still get full rather quickly and haven't introduced all of the food groups.
I talk about the fast only to boast in our incredible God, because He gave me the strength every day and is still enough and sufficient for every possible need. Matthew 4:4, Man does not live on bread alone but every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. .. And John 6, He is the bread of life, our truth and necessity and when we let eternity impact every day and our perspective, coupled with the beautiful realization that the living God dwells within us, anything is possible, and your appetite changes for the things of heaven.
Furthermore, during the last days of the fast, and week after, He broke through my heart with His kindness. He reminded me not to hide in my "independence", penetrating areas of hurt that I had forgotten to address, forgiveness soaked my spirit, and I continued to learn that I don't have to do this alone. The terrible lies that told me that I had to figure it out, and that I am an inconvenience were silenced by the voice of the one that calls me chosen, loved, accepted, and adored. My past experiences dictated how my heart and head were connecting, how I was receiving and giving love. But God knows us best and how to invade the intimate places of who we are and I've been absolutely surrounded and championed by community in so many different ways since being here.
My God is SO good. And if you have comments, questions, or want to know more about fasting definitely ask!
SO THAT'S BEEN CRAZY.. Plus I have been learning how to go after evangelism, being bold in my faith in creative ways and...
Oh yeah.. I'M GOING TO INDIA FOR MY MISSIONS TRIP!!!!!
I am BEYOND Excited! God has absolutely been breaking my heart for the outcast, for different people groups, showing me how to live a life of compassion, and I'm stoked for the opportunity to take that adoptive beautiful, crazy, reckless, unconditional love to the magnificent country of India, March 27th- April 8th. Our school requires us, and gives us opportunities to be activated and serve around the world. 60% of our students are international, and it's such an incredible honor and privilege to go to their countries and bless their nation too.
If you would like to pour into my trip and support me, I'd LOVE prayer partners and definitely would wholeheartedly appreciate any amount you could possibly give. Pray about it, and here is the link if you would like to sow into the gospel being spread in India! Here's the link; *I want to sow seeds!*
For those who do feel lead to sow, I would love to send gifts of art and encouragement, or Holy Spirit inspired randomness, in return, so for me to properly thank you I would love an address!And realll talk continued, my Papa God is the King and I KNOW HE IS GOOD. He leads us, and provides. I have a job, and worked over the summer, and have incredible parents who are extremely generous, but I'm still paying off Tuition..and as of right now I owe $1,225 by next week.
So I am doing commission paintings if anyone is interested, or online paintings auction, and/or creating small crafts and bible covers..and anything else that comes to mind! If interested message me, otherwise I would definitely appreciate your prayers! <3 If instead you'd like to donate towards my Tuition, send a love offering here. And I definitely would reiterate the request for an address to send a gift in return!
Thank you so much for your interest, your love, support, prayers, and being the incredible person you are! Life has definitely been an adventure and its messy. But Jesus loves us in our mess and all of us. He likes you too, you make him smile a whole lot.
I pray that you become saturated with the presence and glory of God, and that as you lean in, you are covered with his embrace. He calls you Beloved and He is so proud of you. Before Jesus ministered or did anything God called down and highlighted Him and said, This is my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased. You see, Jesus didn't need to minister to know the Father was proud of Him. And neither do you, your Father is already proud of you because you are His child. You are loved. Be blessed today and every day, living in fullness of health and reminded of His goodness.
His Beloved, Marianna
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