Marianna Update #24- My Heart

Dear Friends! Welcome to the wonderful adventures of Mari. Here's my heart. I have been away from sweet California for about 6 months now, and I still terribly miss my friends. But I have been excited for what God is doing here in Waukesha!! One of the magnificent aspects of being a part of the body of Christ- is that we all have a unique purpose. We all must "find our lane" and understand the season and giftings we are in and have. For example, if I am the elbow, I can't attempt to be the foot... walking on your elbows all day would not be very fun. Wisconsin is exploding. In the spirit, I can sense all of the different pockets of believers and churches that are filled with burning believers that are either waiting to get out, or have already seized their time. They are the different parts of the bodies that I wish I could join and be and function in every group every night (there's practically some sort of bible study, prayer, worship night, fellowship you could attend every night). I feel this way with all of my passions as well- if I could excel at Art, Dance, Writing, Music.. all at once I would! And I do try endlessly! .. But I'm the pinky. We must ask- God what are you doing RIGHT NOW? I believe he is awakening the bride to rise to her first love and shake off the shame of self. To enter into purity and freedom is to be known by him, and have nothing in between. Love purifies because it eradicates what separates. Mary Magdalene is my favorite example of a laid down lover. Love broke the chains, but her faith in action moved her into freedom. Jesus set her free of demonic oppression and she was able to experience pure love for the first time, but that love came into a completion of true freedom into her identity when she acted on it, moved into through R I S K as she pushed pass the fear of man and ridicule to worship Jesus with complete abandonment and pour out oil on His feet. That's my heart cry- to pour out my love on him and completely terrify the enemy by entering into freedom and purity. And to lead others into that place. What is a chain you need Jesus to break and heal? What is the risk and step of faith you will take in response? My response is dancing- I must, I have to, I can't keep still. Sometimes a song arises in my heart and I must sing, or melodies and poems spill from my tongue and I must write!! And don't you think- that in our expressions, our worship- people will see him, we will find freedom, and darkness will flee? Isn't he worthy of it? What's stopping you from breakthrough, from stepping out in risk? But we don't have to do it alone. You're not alone. Together- we create, together we worship, together we fight. Let's arise together and worship the Lord with our giftings and passions. We need each other, where 2 or 3 or more are gathered, surely the Lord is in this place. I am building an equipping center for you to be able to encounter Jesus in a new way, to pour out your oil, to reach your community, and find a community of fiery creative believers. Sometimes it's hard to find people who share our values, passions, interests, and even in the church it can feel isolating. But God loves creativity- he is the creator of the universe- and so do we. We believe everyone has creativity inside, made in his creative image, we believe in freedom and safety, and learning how to become laid down lovers for Jesus to change the world. Our communities and churches need this. The Lord is handing out KEYS to this generation, to unlock hearts and bondage off of people in powerful ways. I believe it's through these aspects of creativity, expression, and the steps of faith from listening to his voice in full surrender. Will you go? ..... COME TO LEARN MORE about the Creative Arts Resource Center, and how you can be a part of our Creative Community and the Creative Move of God! Saturday Nov. 6th, 9:30 am - 11 am. Saturday Nov 20th, 9:30 am - 11 am. RSVP by Clicking Here! **or just come anyway!!** .... We host Kingdom Writer's Community and Art Community every other Tuesday from 7-9pm, Kingdom Writer's is lead by Desiree Young- Art Community is lead by Chris Glatzel .... If you want to keep hearing more about Creative.A.R.C, please add the following email as a contact(it's been heading to people's spam): creativekingdominternational@gmail.com And let us know to add you on our mailing list! Any future Creative ARC News shall be directed to that email address. :) If you want your community to hear this message, or you'd like a private meeting- send me a message to the email above so we can schedule something. Thank You, Be Blessed p.s Actual life updates below.. Haha. I'm working at a catering job semi sporadically, I've almost finished C.A.R.C's Brochure, my brother Michael is now married to Bryn!! 3 great months of dating the Oh So Wonderfully Fantastic Connor <3 , I'm currently going to a Natural Path Doctor and doing an 8 Week Detox Cleanse/Diet (it's wild), Still doing Painting Commissions, almost done reading "Till We Have Faces" by C.S Lewis, went to Georgia for a weeklong Abstract Bootcamp with the Milan Art Institute, Volunteering at Bridge Youth's Youth Group, joined an Ephesians Bible Study, I dressed up as Jarjar Binks for a party, and I have been Trying out Churches all summer and more recently have loved going to World Impact and White Stone Ocon and desiring intentionally build community. Mmmk thanks :)

Marianna Update #24

 Dear Friends and Family. 

We have been softened by grief, strengthened by trial and victory, and learned how to love ourselves when we felt alone. 

Well done for growing, and adapting, and letting the winds of change smooth your rough edges and well done for standing firm against torrential tides. 

Well done for finding hope, for finding community and people to surround yourself with and finding people to champion. 

You are noble, brave, and you are kind. 

Well done. 
.........................................................

Welcome to August, the summer has flown by gracefully. God has called me to sit, and rest, over and over and over and over again until finally... I think I started to get the hang of it. I've found that we all need  reminders of how to truly rest and to actively remind ourselves that we are human BEINGS before we are Human DOINGS. 
The past few years I got really good at learning how to rest while running, and now that I'm back in a new season, we must again remember the basics. 

I pray this email update finds you well, and I implore you to read to the end! I have a few highlights of beautiful happenings, as well as some VERY IMPORTANT news! 

* H I G H L I G H T S * 
JUNE: 
-I was a Camp Counselor at Spencer Lake Youth Camp! Amazing Time
-Greenlake Holy Spirit Renewal Conference : INCREDIBLE. POWERFUL Got to hear William Hinn-
- GRACE GOT MARRIED
 
JULY:
-Family Minocqua Week!!
-Bible Studies and Community

AUGUST:
- Van Gogh Experience!
- Worked at Big Bounce America
-Started helping doing Muraling work with my Mom
- CARC FIRST PRAYER MEETING

*My summer has been a conglomerate of deepening friendships, hiking, rock climbing, reading the word, getting deep in my ecourse "Alive and Free" where I have had MASSIVE heart breakthrough (more updates on that to come), weddings, parties, swimming, kayaking, painting, praying, worshiping, and lots of precious family time. 

BIG SHIFTS, BIG NEWS
Thank you all so much for being on this journey with me. I'm excited that the time has come to start some "doing" again and get moving on some dreams of mine. Most of my life, my passion for Creative Arts Ministry, Inner Healing, and Missions have been extremely prevalent.. and now they are beginning to become reality.
 
        CREATIVE ARTS RESOURCE CENTER - WAUKESHA. 
My dream is International, thus the account we are starting is "Creative Kingdom International", but the current project and focus is on "Creative A. R. C- Waukesha. "

Our heart and vision is to create a space where we can encourage, empower, and equip the creatives to encounter the Lord through creativity, find wholeness, and impact their community and church bodies supernaturally. 

We will be holding workshops, retreats, and prayer meetings and would love for you to be a part of what God's doing! 
We will be releasing another info meeting/prayer meeting date soon. Please stay tuned for that. 

Attached below is our vision and the blueprints of what that all entails and prayer points. We are in need of people on our team, prayer partners and kingdom investors. After reading through our vision please fill out the response form. 

Vision:

 BLUE PRINTS 2021

Response Form:

 CARC- Waukesha

Thank you for prayerfully considering and reading through our Blue Prints 2021. If you have any questions or comments you are more than welcome to contact me. May you be so very blessed and filled with a new revelation of God's love today. 

ONLINE RESOURCES:

TO READ PAST UPDATES AND WRITING GO HERE: MARI'S BLOG
TO FOLLOW C.A.R.C's FACEBOOK PAGE : WAUKESHA  CREATIVE ARTS CENTER

Marianna Update #23

 Dear Reader..

If I created titles for the last 9 months they would've been:
Oct.  Tuscany Babes have Corona! Lol. - 
Nov. The Fruit of Thanksgiving
.Dec. Christmas Break- HEY WISCONSIN
Jan. Return to Cali- Heart Changes
Feb. Everything is Opening, Everything Is New
Mar Beginning of Alive and Free
April Adventures and Journey
May Graduation and Goodbyes
June Hello Wisconsin

I didn't write much during those months as I normally do, and below I think you'll see why.  

4th Year of BSSM has been wonderfully terrible but incredible. I learned a lot, grew a lot.. died a little and lived a little. 
It is certainly hard to create an accurate summation when every month and week carries the weight of an entire year. I have lived in Redding for 3 years, this being the 4th, I felt like I was diving into the deep- however everything was in a stand still or felt.. paused. Life had become virtual, we became inmates of our own house, and eventually got sick. 

Personally, with new and old relationships I was dying. I had fallen into patterns and habits that were destructive, and with all the various restrictions I lost my center. Jesus shall always be the center. But for a hot minute he wasn't, instead- idols swooped in and tried to win my affection and attention and they won. I was a slave to pride and lust and selfish ambition. Of course, on the outside everything seems beautiful, but it's only a matter of time that what is within reveals itself.

That's what this period of time did for all of us, it exposed what was hidden, and revealed truth. Sometimes we call things truth, but are really lying about the true nature and state of things, such as our hearts and minds. 
I didn't consciously know that pride was eating me alive until it showed its ugly head and tried to divide our team. 
And that's where grace comes in. We all fight against the ugliness that tries to tell our story, and fall to our knees and cry out to God because we realize we are unworthy.
Then he came to me, and redeemed me, and reminded me of all the promises he's made over my life that still stand. That in my unfaithfulness he remains faithful.
That "come to Jesus" moment was in January and I felt absolutely alive again. I died and came to life, because he did. I held onto that truth as hard as I could. 

Then another hard season kind of blew me under water and I realized my footing still wasn't solid, my identity tempted to be tainted, and that my heart was actually bleeding from multiple stings. 
I started taking an Ecourse called "Alive and Free" and began a journey in March to awaken my heart, let it speak, and learn how to walk through healing with God. I have gotten so many breakthroughs since then about my view of myself, my relationship with men/brothers/ etc. and breaking off all the lies of performance. Having true brothers and sisters in this time was instrumental to change and healing. Being able to be so broken yet so held, is one of the most beautiful experiences in our lifetime. 

I served with my team and Theresa, finally free to meet and gather, go to minister, and we saw lives be healed, touched and saved. I love painting with Papa God and giving them away to people and seeing them moved to tears by what He has to say to them. Or watching them physically get healed just through a dance or song, there is nothing that God can't do. Even if I don't understand. He's just so good. And if he created us in his image (the CREATOR), then it only makes sense that he shows up through us in the most creative ways ever. 

And that concluded my year... of course not including all the birthday parties, me actually getting sick, the millions of hikes we did, road trips, late night chats and adventures.... but it brought me to graduation. Graduating a season of being in the BSSM environment for 4 years, undone by the goodness of God and his closeness. He is my reality.
 And leaving my best friends was one of the hardest things yet I've done...my Tuscany Babes, and Catch Guys :) Leaving my all time bestie, BFFL, and roommate for 4 years Breah... we all sobbed. 

But I have a peace that surpasses understanding that God is going to move in Wisconsin and I'm called to be a part of it. The years of dreaming of the mission field are at hand and better than I could imagine. There is a creative movement coming on the earth where God will come and is here now.  
I'm SO EXCITED. It's been really hard, not gonna lie, but I have great friends in Wisconsin too who have blessed me during this transition. 

Updates to come on what the future may hold... But for now... I'm so thankful for the Lord's kindness, his faithfulness.. teaching me submission, that his promises are forever... and that nothing is impossible with God because Jesus' blood paid for everything. 
I'd love to share more detailed testimonies soon, but thank you for reading my 9 month recap. God is good. 

Marianna Glatzel

Marianna Update #22

 Welcome back to the exciting adventures of Marianna! 

I had paused for summer break, and now that I'm back in California- our email adventures shall once again commence. 

My last update, #21, was sent on March 21st, 2020.. Shortly after my 21st birthday. This was back when I had started quarantine, I was still dating Dan, and we weren't aware of all that would come in the following months. 
But since then, I GRADUATED 3rd year, Dan and I have decided to stay just friends, and I went home to Wisconsin for some of the best adventures ever.

This will be a rather quick update on the going-ons of late, but I'm sure the update emails to come will be chalk full of detailed stories and testimonies ;)

SUMMER HIGHLIGHTS:

• My dear friends, Ashley and Will Ubert got married!!! Such an honor to be part of their special day :)
• I lead worship with my Dad and preached at Outfitters Ministries. We also lead worship at Uplink. 
  IF you want to listen to that message click here: https://outfittersministries.com/2020/07/19/intimacy-with-a-holy-loving-god/
• My family and I vacationed on Madeline Island, and later up north in Minocqua. 
• Our family dog Kita passed away, living out her 15 years to the fullest. 
• We started hosting meetings at our house called, Family Nights and have had a variety of friends and new believers come. 
• Our family grew as we connected more with our neighbors and had a lot of special memories with them this summer!
  
• I worked at the Golf Course, Western Lakes as part of the Grounds Crew (one of my FAVORITE jobs!)
• Met with friends every Sunday and encountered the Lord in incredible ways!!! 
• Went to Devil's Lake twice and adventures lots with quality people. 
  
  

Looking Forward:
What am I doing now?
          WELL, I'm officially settled back into the Tuscany House with my wonderful Housemates. Currently 3/7 are here, Karen and Kathryn, Breah is coming today(!!), and later  Kelly, Kirsten, and Celi. :) 
I will be serving Theresa Dedmon again this year, and am currently looking for a job. I'm rather excited for this year, it's going to break every box of expectation, and I'm sure that we're going to experience things that no one has ever seen before. 

What Am I Reading?
It's my goal to constantly be reading a book and through the bible. 
I am in 2 Chronicles 24 and am reading the book "Love Does" by Bob Goff. I HIGHLY recommend both. 
Love Does is about Bob Goff's life, each chapter is a short story from his CRAZY life and something he learned about the Lord through it. It's been so inspiring to me as of late, and some chapters have honestly brought me to tears- reminding me of the goodness of God and his reckless love for us. 

How Are You?
HEY! How are you? If you are still receiving these emails, I certainly care about you and would love to know some of your highlights, how you have been doing in light of the present circumstances, and what I can pray for you for?

If you no longer want to receive these updates, please just reply: Thank you for your emails, but please take us off your list!

B L E S S I N G
Ephesians 3:16-21
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

What am I learning?
I'm learning how to receive the invitation of this life that God has for us. You are invited to live fully, to be fully engaged, present, and God is so passionately in love with you and created you for SUCH A TIME AS THIS. Sometimes its easy to take a back seat and just let life happen, but you were called to this moment. You were called to fully live and God will equip you for every moment. Call out to him and he will come, seek him with all your heart and you will find him. 

His Beloved, 
Marianna Mckenzie Glatzel

Poetry Series- Wilderness

We wander. We roam, searching for

home.

Never really sure where our feet will land

We clear our schedules and threw out our plans.

All of our expectations, the good and the bad.

Chris.

I had a sleepless night, chatting on the phone and being goofy. It’s been 3 days, and today is the fourth. The first day, I was a wreck. The second, I let myself cry in the morning and sojourned on and had a great day. Day 3, I was even better, seeing posts didn’t “bother me”, I felt numb. That night I didn’t sleep.
Today, Day 4.  I waited on the couch sleeping-ish through Bridge Church sermon, and awaited for the roomies to start Bethel’s service. Once worship started playing in my half sleepy state. I started thinking about Chris playing worship and how I may never get to hear him play again, and our church and worship teams will never be the same. For he has put an imprint on everyone around him through how he worshiped and through gifted guitar playing. I thought about our church family, and Julie, and thought about hugging him.. and the tears came easily through my sleepless tired body and they started to shake me and pull me and I broke into a sob as the Live Stream sang about God's goodness.
First I saw images in heaven, and I saw memories of Chris. I remembered how he was always intentional to tell someone He loved them before he left. He always made sure you knew you were loved. And Jesus let me see Him, He said, “Mari I love you!”, and I ran to Him and hugged him. Every breath wavered and shook me. He apologized, with a moment of sadness in his eyes, but looking around was overcome with the joy and life around him.
In the background the lyrics from the worship set became, just one glance, just one moment in your presence, you become my everything. 

And I saw the light in Chris’ eyes, for he had become the most alive he has ever been. On earth he was full of joy, he is one of the most hilarious people I know. He always made you feel safe, loved, seen, and known. He is a protector, and I always viewed him as a brother, which was natural for most people. He always drew people in to be family around him. But even now, there was new freedom within him, a peace that surpasses all understanding as he looked around and looked at me. 

Chris, I miss you, you would’ve been so excited to see Dan and I dating! I wish I could have hung out with you more, spend time with you, worship with you again. A lot of people haven’t seen you since quarantined started. You are such a good brother to everyone around you, I love you so much Chris!
He hugged me, I wanted to know if he would've said anything to Julie... all I thought that he would've expressed the joy and that it's all better than they could have hoped or imagined.
And I saw him walk away. I felt my body go into another wave of shaking, and Jesus grabbed me. 

Mari let him go. Let him go, it’s okay.

 I saw a picture of Papa in his garden, where there's lines of gorgeous flowers- each one of his children. Chris was uprooted and then planted into the fields of heaven. Where he blossomed. I felt the uprooting in my chest and cried out in pain. But saw the joy on his face as he began talking to angels and people, meeting friends he didn’t think would be there, creating bands, asking people to play music with him, and learning more songs and creating new heavenly melodies.
Chris was always so friendly, and so ready to worship wholeheartedly. The worship played on, for almost an hour, and I crawled to one of my housemates realizing the need for human touch, for contact, covering, and comfort. I remembered times where I would normally run to be by myself, but now realizing the great victory, and beauty of having people there with you.I prayed for our church, and for everyone who knew him. Chris you are a gift to this world. So loved, so incredible. Thank you for your life, thank you for who you are.

Thank you Holy Spirit for your comfort. Thank you God for coming and holding me, and letting me cry, and sleep, and be still, and cry some more. I waited until I couldn’t cry anymore.
God you ARE so good.

Then I saw Jesus next to Chris as he took whatever he did, He watched his body in agony and warned him. But Chris couldn’t hear him. His body lay to the ground, and Jesus held him sobbing. We both sobbed there, watching his life fade out of his body.
This is very sad. Jesus said. We sobbed together. Mourned together.
God knows the ending to every story. He created life and death. But we are safely held in his hands, he holds the final word. Chris has been liberated to the promised land forevermore, and we are found in the Father's love. .

What do you need? If you need comfort, come. If you need love? Come. If you need to cry, come. If you need to scream, come. If you are angry, come. If you are numb, come. If you are in pain come. If you are grieving, come.

Let me hold you, be still with me, let me listen to your heart’s ache, it’s okay dear cry every tear, let me help you turn your heart back on- we’ll go deep together- we can get through this. Hold my hand dear one. Lovely child, come sit in my lap. This is very sad, I’m extremely mad at the enemy, but if it is not yet good.. It is not the end yet. 

Marianna Update #21

 *Attempted to send this out 3-21-2020 **

Honestly it's crazy that my last update's theme was about the time and season we're in and it was the 20TH UPDATE.(COUGH.2020) .. What even, and now I'm talking about personal growth and change- including my 21st birthday and its the 21ST UPDATE. Something sneaky is going on here...

*cue intro music* 

Welcome back to another classic, Marianna Update!!! 

I share what's on my heart and my journey in the hope that I will inspire you and bless you. I share to YOU because you are important to me and I'm thankful to have someone like you to include in my journey! I pray that every email you read from me, you'll see another aspect and side of God's heart for you. 

AND HERE WE GO.

The contents of this lengthy letter are very personal and deep and are as follows (read whatever interests you, but all of its grand):
Comments on the Times
Emotions
Current Reading
Dating

 

From the depths of quarantine, and self confinement, I am a voice shouting from the wilderness..... Just kidding, it's not that intense at all, it's actually been a lovely time! Of course, the entirety of the situation is quite crazy, intense, and in some places tragic... but on a personal level, our house has been filled with laughter, adventure, and God's presence.

It's interesting, this was previously going to be an email explaining how because of travel, I alone was required to stay at home until Monday... but now all of California is required to stay at home, including my 7 housemates. Within a week everything has changed, full of unexpected events.

 A lot of my friends have left, back to their countries, states and families.. And unfortunately our missions trips have also been canceled- thank you to those who may have donated to any trips or missions... I am grateful that I was able to have gone on my two ministry trips this earlier this year. School will continue as usual.. but everything online. (Thanks to Breah and the Steve and Ruth Moore team for setting up this new system!)

I believe that God is showing us that his ways are higher than our ways. Of course he didn't cause the COVID-19, but I do believe he is moving in ways of complete sovereignty and providence, greater than our comprehension.(More understanding of this I would recommend Kris Vallotton's messages).

It would be best for us to take heed of the times, be attentive, and be still. To listen to his voice, and go where he's going. Many times we will proclaim, yes God is for us!! God's on our side!! But are we on his?

We must turn our gaze upon the Lord, our minds to heaven's perspective, and remember that we are seated with Christ. God is good, and absolutely in love with us, wanting and desiring our attention... and he's moving in divine ways. 

We were born for such a time as this. 

Our children's children will look back at this time in history. 

What will be the story that you leave?
*FUN.* I have decided to write a letter to my future children. We did something similar in 4th grade when we wrote a letter to our future selves about watching the Inauguration of Obama. Sometimes we don’t realize or appreciate the time we’re in until it’s over. Take note. 

Thus we come to PeRsOnAL DevELoPmeNt. 

After the PA trip, I sprained my ankle and was in bed or resting for a few weeks, then the WI trip, and then recovering after, and then quarantined. My schedule has shifted and been slowing down for the past month, so this quarantine business has almost followed the flow of late. 

I have had to work on self motivation- finding goals and completing them, refocusing on tasks, my heart postures, as well as developing my prayers for my family and situations, and spending time with God.
I’ve been reading, painting, playing violin, adventuring and hiking, so muchhh funnn.. Oh and I also cleaned and vacuumed Breah and I’s room, as well as the hallway closet.  It’s been an exciting time.

After Wisconsin I had to process once again, through leaving new friends behind. Ministry trips are absolutely beautiful, you serve with your whole heart, see people touched, make deep friendships, and then leave all the richer, but another piece of your heart is left in that city, state, and church family. Wisconsin, hit a lot closer to home- literally and figuratively... Coming back was hard and the day after I cried out to Papa in anger, not wanting to return to school.
For a long time I had resented any angry emotions because of my experiences growing up- from other people and myself. This year and last has been a journey of relearning how to deal with anger in relationships and myself.
Oftentimes, my instinct is to immediately to shut down because I’m scared, because of pain, or I am simply unable to process the severity of anger. But once I came back from Wisconsin and I could sense that my heart was shutting down, I knew that I had to confront it. I went to the Lord and said blatantly, 'God, I am mad.' Immediately tears burst out of my eyes and I was able to come to him and weep over the anger that had been building up.
The Lord isn’t angry with us, and he isn’t scared of our emotions, and he doesn’t punish us for being mad.
We are not loved less because of our emotions, but rather it is how he created us.
Plans continued to be canceled, and I was being left to my own devices at home. I was able to process with the Lord and start having fun by myself- (with Jesus). I remembered what it's like to play, to be fully content, and like being with myself. I think I become so busy and so focused on other people’s approval that sometimes I forget what it’s like to enjoy who I am.
/////Another wave of emotions hit upon finding out that my grandmother Marion passed away a few weeks ago. Even though we may not know everyone in our family well, there is an unusual and unspoken bond ingrained in all of us. She was a lovely woman present in most of my memories growing up as a child- birthdays, holidays, absolutely kind and lovely. Amidst all of her tons of grandchildren, she was intentional and loving with each one. Thank you grandma Marion for who you are. You’ll be missed. 

With my time I have also been diving into reading. Books- I love books, my current reading and to read list has grown.. The books I am currently reading are:
The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas,
and Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge,
And The Calling Journey: Mapping the Stages of a Leader’s Life Call, by Tony Stoltzfus

BIBLE
Reading and digesting the word is crucial to every believer, you NEED to be founded on what God has said.(Message me with what YOU have been reading!) I have experienced that a lot of young people don’t really know what the word says, nor how it applies to every day life. But it is the ultimate truth and reveals God, it reveals his son and the beautiful love story but also holiness, and extensive characteristics of our creator God.
I am going through the entire bible, and am currently in 1 Kings 7- astounded by King Solomon and his heart to ask the Lord for wisdom to govern the people and do what is just; which in turn moves the heart of God. May my requests and prayer also move the heart of my Father.

For this season we have been reading PSALM 91.

VULNERABILITY TIME
I would love to end this letter with the topic of d a t i n g . PREFACE: Your identity is not defined by your relationship status. Singleness is an absolutely beautiful gift. If you are not in relationship, it doesn't mean you are any less of a person, and you don't need to be in a relationship to be complete. But actually our goal is to be whole healthy people in love with Christ growing and challenging one another for the goal of loving others well and revealing the creator God to them. .... I personally have been on a number of dates in my BSSM experience and in the past few years. BSSM/ Bethel, as well as many other Christian schools strongly encourage dating. They encourage their students to go on dates, meet new people and stop living in fear and high stakes, which I think is amazing! Their encouragement TO date also comes from trying the heal the pain and shame that has often come from church communities on the subject of dating.
I think one of the reasons it feels so high stakes is because people are afraid of break ups, they’re afraid of what people will think when it doesn’t work out, the awkwardness of friendships splitting apart and affecting their circle of friends, especially in church families. Yes it’s definitely an emotional roller coaster and awkward endeavour, but why does there have to be all this shame and hiding? What if we left people better than how we found them, instead of after every breakup, broken and torn apart? What if we actually had healthy boundaries to be able to love people well and help them live in wholeness? Yes, our hearts will hurt, it is painful, but anything worth doing will require something of us.

Relationships are beautiful, investing into people, loving well, being loved is what we were created for. Pain cripples us and tells us to hide, build walls, or we are too broken to know what being loved looks like and will accept any form of attention- even if it's unhealthy. Dating applies to everyone because to its core it’s about relationships, it’s about identity, and how knowing who we are. And from that its about how to love others well from a place of overflow, and being able to model relationships for the next generation.
Dating specifically, is pursuit- which can be risky, but out of a place of identity is such a beautiful adventure.
I’m currently reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, and they have such a way with words. They describe the desires of a woman’s heart. In Wild at Heart, they embark to uncover the desires and inner workings of men. We are all created to reflect an aspect of God, his beauty, his desire to be admired, to be loved, to be pursued… many desires we have downplayed, feel embarrassed by,or rejected because of some past hurt or experience, or comments from the world.
But they are in us nonetheless, and we are designed this way with PURPOSE, demonstrating aspects of God because we are MADE in his IMAGE.
Dating is a wondrous aspect of showcasing these desires… opportunities for Man to be the rescuer, protector, and for Woman to be seen as lovely, and rescued..these do not fall under weak and strong stereotypes. A strong independent woman would agree that it feels beautiful to be needed, important, but also to be fought for valiantly.
Dating has different levels of pursuit- but its all part of this beautiful life we live. I have often tried to push away parts of life that seem trivial and meaningless in comparison to the vastness of eternity, yet the Lord sets me down and shows me the beauty in simplicity. Such as the beauty in desires of becoming a mother one day. He fabricated life as we know it, it would be unkind and ungrateful if we were to under appreciate and reject his gifts.

I share with you parts of my journey for the sake of them being informative, beneficial, and as a testimony. To break off the shame of topics that feel safer left unsaid- but are worth saying.
Growing up I felt the shame of dating. I had relationships with guys that went deep quick, never physically, just emotionally. I was unaware of how to guard my heart until it was too late and I tied up in a web of complications, hurting me and the other person. The Lord says to guard your heart above all else, but I didn't know how to do this. All I knew was “not to have sex before marriage, and don’t date”. But then I was 16, 18, 20… dating became acceptable and expected- yet here I was unaware of how or what was okay.
A lot of churches and families may have been taught well of what to do, but a lot of my friends and I were confused on this subject. BSSM has taught me a lot about how to be healthy and whole person as a single woman, they’ve taught us about dating with low stakes, and that it’s encouraged, and also talked about the beauty of sex in marriage and that it was created by God.
Shame slowly started to fall off, especially in first year where God gave me permission to date. I then also asked my earthly Father, because I needed to hear him say it. Father’s, you have a crucial role in your child’s identity as well as their confidence. If you don’t speak over their life, society will.
I learned a lot about boundaries the hard way and eventually learned what it’s like to keep my heart in check through how much I talk to someone, how much I think about them, WHAT we talk about, how intimate I allow them into my heart and head space… things that no one has ever said OUT LOUD. But through every experience and Papa God’s wisdom, it became easier and easier. I had a lot of really tough conversations, but following the Lord’s voice I was able to guard my heart and find freedom and joy in places that gave me great grief, stress and deep pain.

You, dear reader, may be married, single, engaged, or in a dating relationship… but I implore you that your heart is important, the other person’s heart is important.. Treat them as the King’s son or daughter, and love them well, and leave them better than you found them. Believe in yourself as a man or woman, pursue them, you are enough.
And especially if you’re single, as PCON Manning once said, “Be the person you’re looking for is looking for." Invest in inward growth and you develop to become that Man or Woman.

All of this excites me because the Lord is also pursuing us, and we get to demonstrate healthily what that looks like with the person beside us.
I am currently in a dating relationship(for 8 weeks now!! YAY), and I have learned so much about God’s unconditional love, his pursuit and his kindness. It’s honestly kind of terrifying sometimes, but perfect love casts out all fear… and every day I’m learning what that means in a new light. I am also learning how to keep God at the center, how to keep in a state of overflow, but also be healthily aware of my needs. **IT'S OKAY TO HAVE NEEDS. WE ALL HAVE EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL, AND PHYSICAL NEEDS.** It's crucial to 1. BE AWARE of them and 2. GET THEM MET HEALTHILY.
I’m honored to be challenged by this man every day as he prays for me, shares scripture with me, and shares His experiences with God with me. We all embark on different journeys, and I think it’s important to be surrounded by community and not to hide and isolate ourselves. So come with your wisdom! Your counsel! And help lead us in the ways we should go.. Keep us accountable in staying aligned to God’s vision and plan and guide us with encouragement and prayer as you would to any friend and family.
Daniel Obermann is a man of honor, who has fought for righteousness, integrity, purity, and exudes victory, and leaks Jesus. He has such a rare and treasured hunger for the Lord and His word. ***Regardless of what the future holds (no high stakes ;) ) I am so honored to have him as one of my bestest friends and currently be one that champions me, and he deserves a legit shoutout! (Shoutout!!) Thanks for who you are, and you inspire me with how you love others so well and your pursuit for God. I feel so seen, covered, and valued by you.

It’s important to follow the Lord’s leading as well as the desires he’s put in your heart. If I was talking to my Junior High Girls, I would give them this counsel: You are so deeply loved by the Father, he has the BEST plan for you. And as you spend time with Him, you begin to dream of that plan, all of your desires carry his vision for your life, and then when you come to make a decision, he trusts you to choose because you are his daughter, and he is your Father. Follow Him and believe that Christ and you are now one.
And obviously I would go into further detail about standards, and 1 Corinthians 13, but also who are YOU?  Are you healthy and whole, able to love from a place of overflow and identity? Or will you be seeking to only take and build your identity off of this relationship? From there I would advise that you treasure more time in singleness to pursue the Lord to hear what He says about you and who He is.

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Thank you so much for reading, you are all treasured ones and I would love to hear your feedback and prayer requests! This was definitely a more vulnerable email, so I appreciate comments and thank you for enduring through to update #21.
Speaking of which, I am officially 21! My birthday was on the 18th, and I was celebrated well all week with flowers, cards, surprises and gifts, adventures, and breakfasts brunch. Thank you all for the wishes and prayers, I feel absolutely loved and adored. This year I feel a resettling of my spirit and desire to remember the simple truths of the gospel as well as to fully run after Him with everything.
May the meditations of my heart and words from my lips be pleasing to you, Oh Lord.. My rock and my redeemer.


Bless you, I plead the blood of Jesus over you and your family,
By His stripes we are healed.
Yours Truly,
Marianna Glatzel